Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
