Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
