DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize
