Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
