Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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