I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
My ass is underappreciated
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
