so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
