break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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