Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
