If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
