we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
