Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize