News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
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