So drunk, too bad you don't want this
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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