i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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