Having a random hookup so left but love u
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
