I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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