I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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