remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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