..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence