what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
