If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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