She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
