In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
