i will never coherently bang her
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
