But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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