I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
