it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
This toilet bowl is my home.
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