don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
and she was petting her beer can
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
