I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
