Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
