I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You're a waste of cheezeits
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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