it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I wish you could order shots online.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
