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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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