if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
