My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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