the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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