I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
