Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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