Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
