apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
