u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
