Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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