Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
