You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Randomize
