People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize