didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
