My balls are so social today.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
