I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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