I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Just pee around me
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Randomize
