apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
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So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
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The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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