i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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