Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Farmville is her only friend.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
