First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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