The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
