And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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