I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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