I wish life had little blips of pornography
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
