the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
