Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
