i don't like sucking hair
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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