At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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