when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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