Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
